It Doesn’t Matter How You Got There…

It’s what you do with the opportunity that counts.

As part of my involvement in the “Diversity and Tech Community” in the Microsoft Tech Community I started mentoring a couple of folks looking to get active in the community and wanting to start down the speaker path. One brilliant young woman was submitting to conferences to speak and not hearing back. She was beginning to get frustrated and wasn’t sure what to do. I pointed out to her that I’d be more than happy to put in a good word for her and she already knows a lot of other people in the community who would be more than willing to help her.

This made her a little uncomfortable.

She wanted to get accepted on her own merits. She didn’t think it would be fair to reach out to others for help. What would others think?

“The only reason you are here is because you know so-and-so.”

“You don’t deserve to be here.”

I get it. I do. But here’s the thing. This world is an extremely competitive place. It’s getting harder and harder to stand out on merit alone… especially if you don’t have the pedigree of those around you.

Listen carefully… or read carefully I guess I should say… 

Your ability to succeed will be determined by how you use ALL of the resources at your disposal. Your skills. Your talents. Your relationships. That guy at your job interview who went to the same college as you.

It doesn’t matter how you got there… it’s what you do with the opportunity that counts.

Use whatever advantage you have to get your foot in the door. To get that job interview. That speaking position. That club membership… whatever… because here’s the thing. Once you get your “in” you get a chance to prove you deserve to be there. You get to show them how good you really are. You get to rely on those skills that you do have. You get to blow the nay-sayers away. Raise some eyebrows and get to places you never thought you could.

Now, let me be clear… it DOES matter how you got there. Don’t go around stabbing people in the back or doing something unethical to get ahead. That will come back to bite you someday, and people will always remember HOW you got there. Trust is a hard thing to earn back.

Maybe you are reading this and still hesitant to pull the trigger on phoning a friend or using some other resource you think puts you at an unfair advantage. Let me address a couple of those:

Pride

Are you too proud to make that phone call, send that email, or ask for help? I get it, asking for help can be seen as a sign of weakness. Where is that pride getting you though? Maybe that person you would ask is just waiting for you to ask them for help? Maybe helping someone else succeed would really make their day? Pride holds us back from asking for a lot of things. It also holds us back from succeeding sometimes. I’ll let you in on a secret. I get rejected from speaking at conferences all the time. More than I’d like to think about. Do you know what I do when that happens? I reach out to the organizers. I thank them for the opportunity to submit. I offer to help them out however I can and check to see if there are any gaps that need to be filled. About 50% of the time this leads to me getting a speaking slot because someone drops out or because someone needs help with a session. Pride could have held me back from doing that, but because I didn’t let pride get in the way I made new network connections, friends, and have gotten more opportunities to speak which have led to even more opportunities. What’s more important, your ego or moving ahead?

Imposter Syndrome

Probably the biggest detractor from someone really going for it in their career, in speaking, in doing something outside of their comfort zone is the imposter syndrome. It’s very real. It can steal your joy and make you a nervous wreck… and I’m sorry to say unless you have the biggest ego in the world and are completely not self-aware it never completely goes away. Here’s the other thing, if for some reason it does go completely away you aren’t pushing yourself anymore. Use that anxiety to drive you to do better. Everyone goes through it… it’s what you do next that counts.

“It’s Not Fair”

Okay, you’ve read all of this and stuck around… and you still have that nagging feeling “it’s not fair”.  Why should you succeed just because you know someone? Why do you deserve the opportunity more than someone else? You know what, maybe you don’t. Do you know what you should be feeling though? Gratitude. We are given so few opportunities in our life and we need to take them to see where they go. If it really bothers you that much that you got ahead for knowing someone, pay it forward. Find someone else who is as deserving as you but never got the chance and help them get their shot. Get involved in the aforementioned “Diversity and Tech Community” and help someone else find their way.

You know… when I started this blog post it was for purely altruistic purposes… really it was… but you know what… I realize… I can use THIS opportunity to tell you about something I’m doing next year to help give someone out there that shot I was just talking about.  Next year at The North American Collaboration Summit (www.collabsummit.org) we are presenting the “Unsung Hero Award”. This award was designed to give someone who’s not an MVP, who maybe hasn’t gotten a chance to speak at a big event, who deserves a chance… that chance. The award winner receives $500 towards airfare for the conference, 2 nights hotel, and a speaking slot at an amazing event. Do you know someone who deserves to be there but hasn’t gotten the chance? Is that someone you? Well, here’s the door… knock it down…  You can nominate an Unsung Hero by going to https://bit.ly/NACSHero.  We are also offering up early bird registration discounts to the conference at https://nacs.ticketspice.com/nacs2020. Register now and save 50%. 

Whatever your takeaway from this blog post is, I hope you take your chance. Use ALL your resources. Make the most of it, and build the career you’ve always wanted. It’s possible. Trust the hillbilly from Arkansas who’s now an MVP, international speaker, and partner at a consulting firm…  crazy things happen when you go for it.